I'll always remember the first Christmas I was able to save up all of my allowance money and buy my sister a gift all on my own. My mom took me to the store and let me browse up and down the aisles for at least an hour. Yeah, maybe a good half of that was me scoping out the toys for myself, but a half hour is a good chunk of time at that age, okay?? I was finally able to pick what I thought was the best one and mom let me wrap it and pick its place underneath our small tree too. I'll never forget her face and how it lit up when she opened it. She threw her arms around me and gave me such a big hug and then we played with it for the rest of the morning while my mom cooked breakfast. That's my favorite childhood Christmas memory.

When I first moved out to LA, I had to spend my first Christmas without my family. I thought it wouldn't be that hard since we were all pretty grown by then and I would still get to see them over video call anyway. I was wrong. I missed baking terrible cookies with my sisters and even arguing over what kind of side dish to bring with my mom. My friend called me to wish me a happy holiday and I guess he heard it in my voice, I still don't know how, but he told me to get dressed and grab the best bottle of wine I had in the apartment. At that point in time, it was a nice $9 bottle. Fancy, right? He picked me up, we invited a few other "strays" over and we all cooked whatever food we could find in his cabinets and watched Christmas movies until we all passed out on his living room floor. That's one of my favorite Christmas memories.

I've always loved this time of year and I have a lot of beautiful Christmas memories. My favorite one, though, happened not too long ago. It should have been a miserable time for everyone involved and truthfully, it kind of was? I was a fucking mess of a human, watching her get the last of her things out of my house. There were so many different emotions going through me and I wasn't sure what I was going to do or what would happen next. And then you text me. I think we were both sad when you came over that night, and that was okay. We weren't doing anything particularly Christmas-y, other than a few rounds of Mariah sprinkled throughout. Before we fell asleep, we were laying next to each other and one of us said something just stupid and we laughed until tears started to well up in my eyes. It was the first time in a while that I felt like things would be okay, and it was the first time that I really felt like you were mine. That, is my all time favorite. favorite Christmas memory. And truthfully, every Christmas I spend with you is right up there with it.

Merry Christmas, baby. Thank you for being the best wife who gives me the best memories, I wouldn't want to share them with anyone else. I love you so fucking much.